I had always worried,
That if I let her go
She’d come and get me in my sleep
Unlike a large ball slowly rolling at me,
My most recognizable bete noire,
A representation of inescapable doom.
Her appearance in my dreams was much worse.
Her form was not scary or disturbing,
Nor were her actions fear inducing
Actually, quite the opposite.
It was the delayed realization…..
The realization that her presence forced upon me
The realization that she would disappear at dawn
This was the nightmare
The glimpse of what might have been
Followed by the cold wisp of the truth
Shutting my eyes at night, knowing what is likely to come.
Being unsure of which was more painful
The false pleasure of dreams,
Or the harsh reality of morning.
Bete noire \bet-NWAHR\, noun:
Something or someone particularly detested or avoided; a bugbear.
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