Larry with the long hair 1/31/2008

Irascible when pushed
inacurate when asked
incapable when needed
in, or out, but never all the way


irascible \ih-RASS-uh-buhl\, adjective:
Prone to anger; easily provoked to anger; hot-tempered.

Pumpkin in the pack 1/30/08

Raising her right hand
to summon the masses to her will
power comes so freely
for those who don't seek mastery

standing on high
affront of the ones not ready to lead
or not capable
her canorous songs fill the air
and raise the spirits
of all who came with the hope that their spirits would be raised
self fulfilling proficies don't take away
from what is right and beautiful
in human expression

peace will be achieved through the ears
whether eyes are open or shut
minds closed or free
hearts wanting or giving

Jim Morrison once said
you can not petition that lord with prayer
but with song
it seems much less like a petition
and what are the odds that our friend Jim knew what he was talking about?



canorous \kuh-NOR-us; KAN-or-uhs\, adjective:
Richly melodious; pleasant sounding; musical.

Squatter 1/29/2008

My abode is humble
amongst the trees of the city
my location the midwest
my persona sinks with the sun into the pacific
misplaced here, unsure how.

the reflection in the mirror is a sylvan
not a worker bee in a sweater vest
I fight the tension between societies call for success
and the will of what was and is right for me
long before I was me
you were you
and weapons, buildings, and hair products
existed to improve our lives.

when you connect, with whom, or with what do you connect?
has it ever come with a barcode?

sylvan \SIL-vuhn\, adjective:
1. Of or pertaining to woods or forest regions.
2. Living or located in a wood or forest.
3. Abounding in forests or trees; wooded.

noun:
1. A fabled deity or spirit of the woods.
2. One that lives in or frequents the woods or forest; a rustic.

Sophomore jitters 1/30/2008

Random savior
Acquaintance from solid base
Two hour party 7 hours later
Laughing, connecting, unwinding
Scooped out of potential hell
Placed softly in friendly nest
Feeling of familiarity, ease
Conversations smooth and fluid
Brushing our teeth together
Sureal flash of domestication
Feeling like a neophyte
An awkward good night
But a warm fuzzy feeling
A good night, a good morning
A goodbye

And a feeling we will see each other again

neophyte \NEE-uh-fyt\, noun:
1. A new convert or proselyte.
2. A novice; a beginner in anything.

Scar Tissue 1/27/2008

her words were an endelible etching on my heart
forgetting them while they bleed is difficult
forgiving yourself can prove worse
Band-Aids and Neosporin are no help

emotional outbursts
insecurities looking for a steady grip
to someone with empathy and compassion
it is unlikely that they are differentiated well

time heals all
but deep cuts heal with scars
chicks dig scars.

indelible \in-DEL-uh-buhl\, adjective:
1. That cannot be removed, erased, or washed away.
2. Making marks that cannot easily be removed or erased.
3. Incapable of being forgotten; memorable.

backcountry delight 1/26/2008

Wind blown and crusty
Tips hang over the edge
Once sticky and secure
Now slippery and heavy
Uncertainty casts a whispy shadow
Over suntanned confidence

Sweat freezes on to hair
Body temperature descends
Ears full with the winds caterwaul
Daring you to challenge him and his friends
You technically know you can't pull it off
But technically you knew that at the bottom

Fear subsides to anticipated exhilaration
Leaning forward and committing
The mission is accomplished
What happens now is just academic
Although I doubt one would describe
Face shots of untamed powder as academic
But people who use words like academic
Rarely test their limits beyond condescending
And judging actions of others

Your legs remind you about the ascent
Your laugh reminds you it was worth every step
Shaking snow from every jacket orfice
You look back, up, behind you
And realize why we have sensory perception
Why people jump from airplanes,
Wrestler bears
And hate cubicles

Live to fail

caterwaul \KAT-uhr-wawl\, intransitive verb:
1. To make a harsh cry.
2. To have a noisy argument.
noun:
1. A shrill, discordant sound.

United Airlines

I approached the customer service counter
completely dishevled,
both mind, body, and hair
clumped from exchange between baseball
and winter hat.
to my right Al Gore
backing into a freight elevator
to my left 100 people
in a similar mental/emotional boat
as I take my next steps
I realize that the woman about to help me
has an "in training" badge on
realizing I am only at the beginning of another journey
I smile and do my best.

disheveled \dih-SHEV-uhld\, adjective;
also dishevelled:
In loose disorder; disarranged; unkempt; as, "disheveled hair."

NVD 1/24/2008

I am where I am
I am who I am
I will continue to be
tomorrow and today
nolens volens

nolens volens \NO-lenz-VO-lenz\:
Whether unwilling or willing.

Bitterness for no reason - 1/23/2008

The key to a mans heart
not the stomach as once thought
but simply the picking of battles
the highroad.

yes we realize that we are imperfect
yes we realize that we are lazy and self centered
yes we realize that we forgot to get that at the store
well maybe we didn't realize that until just now, but you get the picture

but we also remember like they are gold,
the times when we realized we screwed up
and you didn't berate us with an effusive explanation
about how we don't love you,
we don't respect you,
we don't notice you.

That my friend, is the key to a mans heart
the ability to pick battles
to not cry wolf so that they all blend into one,
one drawn out, repeated, redundant attack
about how we are nothing more than childish failures
slowly wrecking your life.

if that fails, go back through the stomach,
as at least then he will get fat and probably not
have the option to leave you for someone who
doesn't seem to hate him as much

effusive \ih-FYOO-siv\, adjective:
Excessively demonstrative; giving or involving extravagant or excessive emotional expression; gushing.

November761Charlie 1/22/2008

afloat above slow curves
rising ahead in majestic fashion
white blanket covering dry brown earth
features and illusions catch your attention
perceptions permeate through beliefs and known facts
not all is what it seems
internal gyroscope provides inexact outputs
as fatigued eyes provide confusing inputs
reality is what your brain decides it is
at any given moment.

At any given moment your reality may change
safely landing provides a return
to a reality that is at least more familiar.

permeate \PUR-mee-ayt\, transitive verb:
1. To spread or diffuse through.
2. To pass through the pores or openings of.

intransitive verb:
1. To spread through or penetrate something.

Gandolf the gray 1/21/2008

wise, old, gray
squeezing wisdom and blood from a rock,
I thought
his beard represented his rings like a tree,
I thought

I approached him slowly,
from the side
I expected to imbark on an endless conversation
where I learned the secrets of the world, of women, of men

his first words might have well been
"I am going to waste your time"

I spent the rest of my day trying to politely excuse myself
from what appeared to be the most callow of individuals
no substance other than skin, bone and viscus slothing blood
pursing through his body keeping it errect and living
weak and feeble of the mind
the highschool quarterback that just looks the part of the old wizard.
3 weeks through the jungle I walked
in search of guidance
only to find what I think I always had known
trust yourself, develop your own wisdom

the only thing I did right, was to keep looking,
looking for answers, or at a minimum
the questions that I do not possess.

callow \KAL-oh\, adjective:
Immature; lacking adult perception, experience, or judgment.

Himalayan Journey 1/20/2008

can you bleed for me
will you take a bullet
what if that bullet is not a bullet
but playing second fiddle?
standing next to the spot light
developing social skills adventitious for you?
signs of love are not always roses or chocolates
sometimes they are simply social effort
saying something or being silent
forgiveing someone without needing to be recognized
being magnanimous.
taking a bullet is easy, it is real
concrete, the ambulance comes,
you may make it you may not,
but everyone knows you took a bullet
you have your 15 minutes, you get credit for it.
can you give to charity and tell no one?
can you take the higher ground without looking down and waiving
making sure people see you?

adventitious \ad-ven-TISH-uhs\, adjective:
1. Added extrinsically; not essentially inherent.
2. (Biology) Out of the proper or usual place; as, "adventitious buds or roots."

no cars on 494 1/19/2008

23 below zero
for humans pretty close to absolute zero
from inside a clear window
looks alot like 72 or 37 degrees
but looking closer
the affects on the city are apparent
quietus of my ambitions
increase of my appetite
decrease of my posture

many things to do,
sitting, writing, staying warm
on my plate

like a 72oz prime rib,
they will be started,
maybe even revisited, reheated
but not finished.


quietus \kwy-EE-tuhs\, noun:
1. Final discharge or acquittance, as from debt or obligation.
2. Removal from activity; rest; death.
3. Something that serves to suppress or quiet.

social intelligence 1/18/2008

As an engineer, stoicism is a great talent
the ability to evealuate things for what they are
without attachment
with girlfirends and puppies
not so great.

Being a stoic
I can attest to the drawbacks in terms of the
male female courtship
engineering school prepares you for not a lot
besides strain and stress calculations
not the kind that help you through
a conversation about why it is the end of the world
that you stay at the birthday party for 2.5 hours, not 2.25 hours
or that you did not seem to care that
the deer on TV was starving

even though it was a cartoon.

stoic \STOH-ik\, noun:
1. (Capitalized). A member of a school of philosophy founded by Zeno holding that one should be free from passion, unmoved by joy or grief, and should submit without complaint to unavoidable necessity.
2. Hence, one who is apparently or professedly indifferent to or unaffected by pleasure or pain, joy or grief.

adjective:
1. Of or pertaining to the Stoics; resembling the Stoics or their doctrines.
2. Not affected by passion; being or appearing indifferent to pleasure or pain, joy or grief.

origami with Zion 1/17/2008

Yellow tail
spicy tuna roll
upbraided me repeatedly
for my off handed comment about germs and I being tight
chunks of meso soup scraped my esophagus
as they threaded thier way through my nostrils
on the way up, not down.
germophobe I am not,
but resting my melon on the toilet bowl,
I knew was not sanitary,
But
it felt so right, dirty and gross, but right

realizing I had some issues
the moment I found a positive in the whole ordeal
one great stomach workout

dry heaving has its benefits.


upbraid \uhp-BRAYD\, transitive verb:
To scold or criticize harshly.

Presbys 1/16/2008

Nonagenarian
presbyterian
unubtainium

those guys kick it early.


nonagenarian \non-uh-juh-NAIR-ee-uhn; no-nuh-\, noun:
A ninety year old person; someone whose age is in the nineties.

clinton bush 1/15/2008

americanize
american eyes
view the world from american eyes
bury the past
rob us blind

and leave nothing behind

-Rage against the machine

Class of '03 1/15/2008

Not immune from peer pressure
trying to stay positive
confident in the face of daily challanges
steeling of ones fries at lunch
holes drilled in math books
punches to frail arms
and kicks to under used genitalia

wishing for a larger frame,
muscles and higher pain threashold

but at the same time realizing that
the above exchange would yield only benifits in the short term

his position in the food chain
inculcated daily by the friendly class of 2003

he struggles hourly through the mental anguish of each weekday
his wit his only battle to fight with.
he thrives when alone, on the weekends
just biding his time,
until the world and more importantly the women
judge him on the things that truly matter
waiting for this experiment to end
waiting for the point where he leaves behind
the mentally slow,
the spiritually numb,
and the true weaklings

to find life

after highschool

inculcate \in-KUHL-kayt; IN-kuhl-kayt\, transitive verb:
To teach and impress by frequent repetition or instruction.

toddlers suprise 1/14/2008

standing around the dark amber red corvette
noticing the wisp of anticipation on my siblings eyelids
blinking incessantly, one of them
staring or jostling around, the others

myself calm, cool, and collected
for I know,
that when the stiff accountant/lawyer type
emerges from behind the curtain
he/she will announce primogeniture

and after a long pause,
a request for a repeat of that word,
and then a request for the definition of that word
(most likely from my youngest sister,
not put off by having to ask for definitions to words)
they would turn, glare at me, and wonder
how long had I known

known that it was all mine

and with my eyes, my greedy smile,
and the fact that I already had keys made,
and was pulling one out of my breast pocket,
they would realize that I had known,
known from the minute I was born,
the minute I was bundled up in warm blankets,
and looked around to notice only one other older sibling
and that sibling was a girl.


primogeniture \pry-moh-JEN-ih-choor\, noun:
1. The state of being the firstborn of the same parents; seniority by birth among children of the same family.
2. (Law) An exclusive right of inheritance that belongs to the eldest son.

honesty is the best policy 1/13/2008

I have done wrong
I know I have done wrong
I need to come clean
i need to be open
be honest
even if it is to late
my pride fights the notion
my brain knows I would never get caught
my heart can't bear the weight
hat in hand
I admit my failure
and supplicate for her forgiveness
knowing I have done the right thing
even as she walks out the door.

supplicate \SUP-luh-kayt\, intransitive verb:
1. To make a humble and earnest petition; to pray humbly.

transitive verb:
1. To seek or ask for humbly and earnestly.
2. To make a humble petition to; to beseech.

Can't seem to win 1/12/2008

Raillery confused as attacks
compliments misread as disingenuous
easy going attitude misconstrued as apathy

raillery \RAY-luh-ree\, noun:
1. Good-humored banter or teasing.
2. An instance of good-humored teasing; a jest.

sunday service 1/10/2008

The pick up line about a penguin and a carrot
to me genius,
to her tacky, and inappropriate

She didn't even crack a smile

the delivery was smooth
perfect comedic timing
my hands were still,
my eyes direct

Things proceeded south
my confidence wayning
becoming desperate for a positive reaction

I showed her the book
"pick up lines for halloween"
I showed her the books imprimatur
which to her should have been the ironic kicker
the little added bonus to the whole ordeal
the small component that was going to bring her back around
crack that smile

she showed me the door
she explained that we were in a church
I was dressed like a strawberry
halloween was last night
she was not dressed as a nun
she was a nun

she still should have appreciated the imprimatur stamp




imprimatur \im-prih-MAH-tur; -MAY-\, noun:
1. Official license or approval to print or publish a book, paper, etc.; especially, such a license issued by the Roman Catholic episcopal authority.
2. Approval; sanction.
3. A mark of approval or distinction.

Dr. Phil's got nothing on me 1/9/2008

staring blankly at the 19" tube TV
mind remonstrating with the body
don't do it
don't do it
dude, come on man,
just don't

oh shit here we go

leaping up from the plastic covered couch
stiff arming unsuspecting future aunt in law Jean
her crumbling with a gasp back into her love seat
where her overweight husband jack chokes on his carrot stick
as he tries to rise.

one smooth stroke to grab the Christmas goose
another the bottle of George Dickel southern mash

noticing the utter befuddlement on your girlfriends face
as she realizes that her prefix might change from the
expected MRS. to EX.
smacking your future brother in law Abe in the back of the head
with the Christmas goose
and laughily screaming "sucker!"
his face at first surprised from the jaunt of his melon
but the second expression,
the one you will carry with you,
was the one where he realized you were getting out
where he realized he was going solo from here on out
the one where he realized you had an escape planned and he was going to be stuck on the island.
the same expression a puppy has when being left home alone for the first time.
sorry Abe, you are a good man.

Twisting between Larry and Greg,
who react to slowly in their attempts to subdue you,
(most likely for the Dickel) you realize you might make it.
A Hiesmen like stride bursts you free from the secondary,
and into the open field
you see yourself on the jumbo-tron
nobody is close enough to catch you.
feeling flushed from the emotional release
and recent physical activity
you sense the brisk chill on your skin as a sign....

the door has been breached, you are outside. you are free (at least as a metaphor)

a kind "honey this is not working"
or an "its me not you" or even a more honest "its you not me"
would have probably been the right move.

but when is the time for that? you are always within 3 weeks of some "special occasion" a Birthday, Christmas, New years, Thanksgiving, Easter, Valentines Day....

The sparking rush and burned bridge of the
lambeau-esque departure from the entire sorted phenomenon
makes you feel like some sort of rebel nonconformist
like bob Dylan when he played an electric set to a bunch of people wanting folk music...getting booed, but booed by
souls that want no more than what they are told they want. souls who seek not their individual truths but the truths of the times of the masses.

walking to your car,
feeling the eyes from the window watching you,
sensing the frigid temperatures,
noticing the warm ooze of blood and grease from the
gooses neck as they drip from your clutched right hand,
and the warm rigid bottle of whiskey in your left.

At one moment,
the moment you get to your car,
you realize your car keys are inside with your jacket

At this moment, you understand regret,
or at a minimum poor planning.

calmly walking past your car down the street
you drop kick the goose into the ditch
take a pull from the whiskey
wipe your goosed hand on your corderoys
and try to determine the shortest walk home
22 miles you figure.
Liter bottle of Dickel still in tact.

better days ahead my friend
better days ahead.


remonstrate \rih-MAHN-strayt; REH-mun-strayt\, intransitive verb:
1. To present and urge reasons in opposition to an act, measure, or any course of proceedings -- usually used with 'with'.

transitive verb:
1. To say or plead in protest, opposition, or reproof.

7 minute task 1/9/2007

tongue locating it
between those two teeth
fingers grabbing for it
can't find it
check again with tongue
yes there it is
grabbing air
tongue reverification
fingers finding it
pertinacious little bastard
pulling,
slipping,
pulling again
fingers cumbersomly big for the task
wait,
yep got it....

orange fiber


pertinacious \puhr-tin-AY-shuhs\, adjective:
1. Holding or adhering obstinately to any opinion, purpose, or design.
2. Stubbornly or perversely persistent.

2 year olds 1/08/2008

little Dylan stands
hands on hips
mimetic once again
mom realizes she is looking at herself
a good way to improve your habits


mimetic \mim-ET-ik\, adjective:
1. Apt to imitate; given to mimicry; imitative.
2. Characterized by mimicry; -- applied to animals and plants; as, "mimetic species; mimetic organisms."

Can't sleep 1/07-08/2008

Society
you pull on me
I will now push back

sure as I am breathing
sure as I am standing here
as sure as I am typing on this computer

I am among your minions,
but I am plotting against you
I may smile and say yes sir, yes mam
but I have you pinned on my wall
I am coming for you
I may not use the front door
I may wait for you outside the vet
or in front of the bank
I will witness your demise
if only your demise within my limits of perception
within my head, within my body
as that is the only space I govern

the vast expanse that is not me
I will leave to someone else

be forwarned, the demons are awakened
they are a torrent of unfathomable madness
they posses the momentum of a title wave
the speed of a leopard
and the will of a slave

they think as one and act as many
the demons are angels
one in the same
they poses the ability to do the evil an angel would never do
but violence and unthinkable things
for the sake of freedom
are just, and forgivable

flight will be mine
on angels wings

under no ones will
but mine

Into the wild - Eddie Vedder

its a mystery to me
we have agreed to which we have agreed
you think you have to want more than you need
until you have it all you won't be free

society
your crazy breed
I hope your not lonely without me

when you want more than you have
you think you need
when you think more than you want
your thoughts begin to bleed
I think I need to find a bigger place
cause when you have more than you think you need more space

society
your crazy breed
I hope your not lonely without me

society
crazy indeed
I hope your not lonely without me

there is those thinking more is less-less is more
but if less is more how you keeping score
for ever point you make your level drops
kinda like your starten from the top
you can't do that

Society
your crazy breed
I hope your not lonely without me

Society
crazy indeed
I hope your not lonely without me

Society
have mercy on me
hope your not angry if I disagree

Society
crazy indeed
I hope your not lonely without me


Jerry Hannan sung by Eddie Vedder - Into the wild soundtrack

Choice 1-7-2008

Wanting to belong
to something

what it is to be a human

I am jewish
I am straight
I am a choir member
I am in a union
I am a democrat
I am a hippy
I like rap music
I work at piper jaffery
I am a dancer
I live in Minnetonka
I drive a BMW
I recycle

belonging to a group always implies
convergence of ideals
the individual needs to adapt
there may even be one leader, one individual
that fools himself into thinking he sets the pace
that he is free from the need to fit in
that he is truly an individual among followers
but even he lives a life for someone else
he scrabbles daily
scrabbles to remain on top of the heap of conformity
he belongs to the same group
from the other end
he sucumbs to the same pressures

pressures to be what is expected of that group
pressures to be what the followers want in a leader
pressures to conform, even if that is to not conform

we all seek conection, acceptance

we all make decisions based on what we need
what we are told we need, or want
without knowing what we need

finding yourself outside of a group is almost impossible
but if it is possible, and it is accomplished
it can give you insight into things far deeper
than your current mind can comprehend

Pressure is the result of the strain of choice
the difference in gravitational pull between things
things you are unsure of, things that pull on your heart, and your mind
pull with different force, or quickness, or pain
pressure is feeling pushed, being forced to act
without clarity from within, accepting others directions
for your life, your actions, your decisions.

"where there is choice, there is misery, where there is clarity, there is no choice" Jack Nicholson

can you answer the question "who are you?" without identifying with a group?

scrabble \SKRAB-uhl\, intransitive verb:
1. To scrape or scratch with the hands or feet.
2. To struggle by or as if by scraping or scratching.
3. To proceed by clawing with the hands and feet; to scramble.
4. To make irregular, crooked, or unmeaning marks; to scribble; to scrawl.

transitive verb:
1. To mark with irregular lines or letters; to scribble on or over.
2. To make or obtain by scraping together hastily.

noun:
1. The act or an instance of scrabbling.
2. A scribble.

Wanting 1/6/2008

Opinionated, strong willed
unshy with comments,
lengthy diatribes about anything
some she had strong background in
others she just wanted to be heard
friable if questioned logically
turning away as if 5
and told she can't have a pony


friable \FRY-uh-buhl\, adjective:
Easily crumbled, pulverized, or reduced to powder.

Gesepi Franco 1/5/2007

bristles, leaves of coverage
without it one is somehow weakend
with it seen as stronger, more attractive
sometimes flopped over
others slicked back
some full, thick like the amazon
others thin, or splochy with lacunas

originally desiged for warmth
now with the invention of hats not really needed

I sometimes feel mine keeps
things from spilling out
things like standing up in a library and yelling "fuck"
or the thought of shutting my eyes while driving

things that would normally spill out,
out over the tops of my ears
or through the flat spot
where my spine connects

it keeps the evil thoughts in
it filters the incoming messages
it stands straight up
or clumps to one side or another
it curls, or it mats down
it falls out and turns gray

I think about it every day, at least once
typically with a draconian sentiment
just after hearing the commment
"you should do something about that"
women and metrosexuals obsess about it
analyze it, tend to it, fix it, 100 times a day

money is spent in the millions
to keep it longer, color it, add chemicals to it
cut it, extend it, thicken it, thin it....

to bad the same individual focus is not given to world peace
the golden rule, or smiling.

lacuna \luh-KYOO-nuh\, noun;
plural lacunae \luh-KYOO-nee\ or lacunas::
1. A blank space; a missing part; a gap.
2. (Biology) A small opening, depression, or cavity in an anatomical structure.

haiku Y 1/04/2008

your obdurate stance
yourself before all others
your lovers true bane

obdurate \OB-duh-rit; -dyuh-\, adjective:
1. Hardened in wrongdoing; stubbornly wicked. Hardened in feelings; hard-hearted.
2. Resistant to persuasion; unyielding.
3. Hard; harsh; rugged; rough.

Shining 1/03/2008

vague was the notion
that somehow he was not

not like the others
acute vision of the next event

preminisions of the colors that make black
or lack there of

his arcana allowed him
spaces unknown to me

I wanted to follow,
but could never understand

asking was a task,
a set back for both of us

his limits were,
my limits of comprehension

his limits were,
something he knew he could never reach

like the fear of a ledge
comes with the realization you could jump

the conch became to heavy

my hands burned by the rope
the pain of loss mixed with
the pain of searing skin
6 feet down to soft earth
in this case our limits are the same

arcanum \ar-KAY-nuhm\, noun;
plural arcana \-nuh\:
1. A secret; a mystery.
2. Specialized or mysterious knowledge, language, or information that is not accessible to the average person (generally used in the plural).

Unblinking Stare 1/02/2008

If you loved me
If you loved me you would move mountains
you would run into a burning building
you would laugh at my jokes
cry at my pain

but faineant you stare back at me
through me

unwilling to give me anything
even a negative reaction

a crime with only victims
purpotrators of unreasonable things
resent the only bond still holding

the mountains still
the fire burning
the joke bombing
the tears dry

even a negative reaction


faineant \fay-nay-AWN\, adjective:
1. Doing nothing or given to doing nothing; idle; lazy.

noun:
1. A do-nothing; an idle fellow; a sluggard.

Roadtrip 1/01/2008

Looking back at 365 days of the past
today is 9 hours away from yesterday
from last year
undifferent in color, taste, or general feeling
reminding me of the let down I felt
the first time I entered Illinois
I thought the colors would be different
like on the maps
the let down that nothing was different
illinois to wisconsin
2007 to 2008

I lost the handle on 2007
somewhere near the border
The Zeitgeist of 2008
will be mine
I will participate

participate in its creation


Zeitgeist \TSYT-guyst; ZYT-guyst\, noun:
[Often capitalized] The spirit of the time; the general intellectual and moral state or temper characteristic of any period of time.