Choice 1-7-2008

Wanting to belong
to something

what it is to be a human

I am jewish
I am straight
I am a choir member
I am in a union
I am a democrat
I am a hippy
I like rap music
I work at piper jaffery
I am a dancer
I live in Minnetonka
I drive a BMW
I recycle

belonging to a group always implies
convergence of ideals
the individual needs to adapt
there may even be one leader, one individual
that fools himself into thinking he sets the pace
that he is free from the need to fit in
that he is truly an individual among followers
but even he lives a life for someone else
he scrabbles daily
scrabbles to remain on top of the heap of conformity
he belongs to the same group
from the other end
he sucumbs to the same pressures

pressures to be what is expected of that group
pressures to be what the followers want in a leader
pressures to conform, even if that is to not conform

we all seek conection, acceptance

we all make decisions based on what we need
what we are told we need, or want
without knowing what we need

finding yourself outside of a group is almost impossible
but if it is possible, and it is accomplished
it can give you insight into things far deeper
than your current mind can comprehend

Pressure is the result of the strain of choice
the difference in gravitational pull between things
things you are unsure of, things that pull on your heart, and your mind
pull with different force, or quickness, or pain
pressure is feeling pushed, being forced to act
without clarity from within, accepting others directions
for your life, your actions, your decisions.

"where there is choice, there is misery, where there is clarity, there is no choice" Jack Nicholson

can you answer the question "who are you?" without identifying with a group?

scrabble \SKRAB-uhl\, intransitive verb:
1. To scrape or scratch with the hands or feet.
2. To struggle by or as if by scraping or scratching.
3. To proceed by clawing with the hands and feet; to scramble.
4. To make irregular, crooked, or unmeaning marks; to scribble; to scrawl.

transitive verb:
1. To mark with irregular lines or letters; to scribble on or over.
2. To make or obtain by scraping together hastily.

noun:
1. The act or an instance of scrabbling.
2. A scribble.